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I want to support her to start thinking through some of this for herself, but whereas she used to have very good judgment, these days she's running on low self esteem and hormones and I believe would follow anybody home who told her she had beautiful eyes. I talked to her about birth control and safe sex and she clearly was not ready. She went to his house once or twice, all when parents were home. When she has been out later with others I often pick her up (the joys of cell phones! I guess when there is another boyfriend I will want to meet him also.
( And yes, we've been addressing the low esteem for years.)She has no experience with dating. I say I could get behind that better if he would stop commenting on her physical beauty and if she would stop gushing. When she saw him I kept my cell phone on and when they were alone for the first time and he was pressuring her for sex, she called me and I picked her up immediately. I think it's a matter of what you are comfortable with and what she wants too.
When my daughter asked me when I thought a girl was ready to have sex, I replied ''when she's ready to handle a baby.'' We all know that every form of birth control has a failure rate, so I don't think it's too far out to talk about pregnancy.
A lot of oral sex goes on in dating, with definite health risks, loss of reputation, etc.
It sounds from your message as if you are conflicted with regard to your goal.I'm generally very liberal but not when it comes to early dating.Our daughter has a nice social life and is not suffering by not dating solo. (There's a chance that he's a friend of a friend of a friend! My mother-bear self wants to lay down the law and tell her no way in hell is she going to be dating an 18 year old who we know nothing about.